New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
