please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
