i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think people are normalizing furries
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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