Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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