I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My life is pants optional.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize