you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
