You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
