He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
