I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize