You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
