in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
