Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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