I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
