I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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