It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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