I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
