break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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