I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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