yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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