If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
