At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize