How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
