after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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