She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
