Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
