the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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