escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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