This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
