But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My hand turned me down
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
