Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
