I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize