How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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