please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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