do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
