Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
