Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
