Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
