I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize