i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
