At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize