hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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