you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
