Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
