Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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