I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
