he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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