5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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