I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
