if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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