My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So many bounce houses so little time
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
