Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
