hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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