Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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