You can't special order awesome
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
