Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
