My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
