im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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