remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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