Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
