I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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