**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
