my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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