I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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