how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
