I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
