I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
