Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
