The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
