Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
