Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
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