Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
