All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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