Where did you get a picture of my penis
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
