you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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