he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
