Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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