haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize