dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
