dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
