pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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