Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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