how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
