I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
